Thursday, March 25, 2010


And the Academy Award for best drama in a college football practice goes to ... Urban Meyer, head coach of the Florida Gators.

Wow! This is Meyer's second award of the night. He also won earlier for directing a documentary about Tim Tebow called, Who cares about your development, boy ... just win me some championships.

But back to his award for "Best Drama in a college football practice."

On Wednesday — following a spring workout session in Gainesville, Florida — Meyer confronted a sports reporter for the Orlando Sentinel, Jeremy Fowler, who printed a quote from one of his current players that the coach took great exception to.

Florida junior wide receiver Deonte Thompson on Monday was asked what some differences were between former Gators quarterback, Tim Tebow, and new signal caller, John Brantley.

"You never know with Tim," Thompson said to Fowler and other reporters who were on hand. "You can bolt, you think he's running but he'll come up and pass it to you. You just have to be ready at all times. With Brantley, everything's with rhythm, time. You know what I mean, a real quarterback."

Now personally, I didn't see anything wrong with Thompson's comment. I think what he was saying is that Tebow isn't you're prototype quarterback. Kind of like how LeBron James isn't your prototype small forward. They have an uncanny ability to always keeps you on your toes, because you're never sure what is going to come next.

Doing what the Sentinel pays him to do, Fowler printed Thompson's quote in Monday night's story.

Meyer, doing what he's not paid to do, approached Fowler after practice and gave the reporter a piece of his mind, even threatening him with violence.

Here's the actual script from Meyer's award winning performance ...

MEYER: You'll be out of practice — you understand that? — if you do that again. I told you five years ago don't mess with our players. Don't do it. You did it. You do it one more time and the Orlando Sentinel's not welcome here ever again. Is that clear? It's yes or no. (Speaking loudly and pointing his finger in Fowler's face, before walking away slowly)

FOWLER: Urban, come on. Don't make any threats. That's fine. I'll play by the rules. But all I was doing is quoting the guy. I don't think I was the only one.

MEYER: (Turning back toward Fowler) You're a bad guy, man. You're a bad guy. Maybe when you get a chance, call his family. The kid has never gotten in trouble. He's a great student, a great kid. If that was my son, we'd be going at it right now. (Walking away and then turning back and pointing) Be careful.

What an unbelievable and scintillating performance! Probably the best I've witnessed since Sean Penn's scene at the end of "At Close Range" when he confronts his criminal father, which was played by Christopher Walken — both of whom are Academy Award winners, as well.

Meyer is becoming well known for his great dramatic roles.

Just this past December, Meyer announced his resignation just days prior to his team's Sugar Bowl showdown with Cincinnati, citing health issues and his wish to spend more time with family.

However, less than 24 hours after his announcement, Meyer decided that he would coach in the Sugar Bowl and then take an "indefinite leave of absence."

Nearly three months later, we're still awaiting his leave of absence.

Did his doctor give him a magical pill to cure all of his ills? Did he and his family decide that instead of staying home, they will "spend more time" with each other on the recruiting trail, in the film room and on the practice field?

Who really knows? You can never truly understand a great artist at work.

But fortunately, I have come to understand two incontrovertible facts from this entire Meyer fiasco ...

The first fact is, the Gators coach is all about drama — he's an Academy Award winner after all.

And secondly, Ohio State head coach Jim Tressel is extremely, extremely boring.

Boy, I hope Coach Tressel doesn't threaten me with violence after reading that last quote!